Bombay.. to.. Mumbai..

 My daughter is doing a weekend course in Mumbai and so I am visiting this city every weekend for a span of 4 months. I have known this city forever. Its been part of my life from childhood and continues to be related...

Mumbai .. well, I have known it as Bombay growing up. It was my aspirational city. Where everything was different, better, faster and the way it should be. I grew up in a small city, where everyone knew each other and Bombay seemed where I needed to reach- where you had to really work hard to be known!

It was no less of a pilgrimage to reach Bombay during that time. We used to board Jayanti Janata - a train which ran from Kanyakumari to Bombay and without the konkan route, it took us 2 nights and 3 days of journey in the 2^nd class compartment of this train to reach. Amma tagged along us 3 – each four years apart in age, to spend 2 months of our summer vacations here. Suitcases, food, water, games, a hold-all – everything was part of this epic travel.  

Seeing Dadar station enroute to Bombay and Petha or Trivandrum central while coming back after two months were both exciting in their respective parts of the journey. Grandmother, uncles, aunts, cousins, and the city – all were part of my two month stay here. I was always in awe of the life in this city – it was very different from where we stayed … and  I always felt .. life was far better in Bombay. The green grass symdrome 😊

We came back to Trivandrum with all our school supplies and also some of our grocery supply for the whole year – the things that Amma needed and couldn’t get in Trivandrum back then. I don’t know how many years we did this, but I think definitely the first 15 years of life’s 2 months were in Bombay- filled with unconditional love – both from family and the city.  

Most of the time it is just the 'differences' that bring in a feeling, which we interpret on either side of the number line of feelings – as ‘love’ or ‘hate’😊. Something similar happened with this city. The speed, the warmth of people, just the sheer number of people, size of the city, the ‘happening’ feeling… everything was positively different and thus probably got labelled as ‘love’ in my dictionary.

But I landed here for a longer time of my life to do masters in 1998. Those two years of travel from Girgaum to Chembur everyday, using – train, another train and bus/ auto was my real introduction to Mumbai. Until then I had seen Bombay with all the privileges – but now, I faced the rains, Holi/ dahi handi, the Bandhs, pickpocketing in trains … et al! 

In the first week as I was coming back from college around 9-9.30 pm I noticed hookers standing on the roads near Charni road station. Another ‘new’ in my world, the sight of those girls – first filled me up with fear and nervousness. There was a world out there, that I was never exposed to, and thought to be very far from reality.. but now, it was right there in front of me to see, absorb and grow with.

The day I was pickpocketed, the day I was thrown by the crowd on the platform- by a jam packed ladies compartment, the day I slapped a guy on the train… all were ingredients for making me ‘me’.  I stayed there for a span of 5 years which included 2 years of studying and another 3 years of earning and working. ‘Money’ was a driving force of this city; it goes around and comes around and keeps the weave of the city intact. I started weaving  my career in this city. And I think those 5 years made me grow from being a simple small town girl to a mature city girl.

Today I return to this city after 20 years, every weekend driving in from Pune and see this city very differently. Probably because I am in a car, I don’t see much of the crowd as humans, but see more of vehicles, sky scrapers, roads, trains and life above me.. away from the ground on the sky.

The distractions as in billboards, LED ads, videos playing are all so much more glaring today, than it was 20 years back. I feel the connect with the ground has just taken off. We have multiple level roads, trains all built on space… as we have no more of it, left on the ground. Roads are taking the to the sky and the waters… As we drive in through the Atal Setu bridge, I feel like I am entering a Detroit or Chicago, where huge grey colour buildings are hiding behind the black smog of the city. There is suddenly a distance between me and the city I have known all my life. I am wondering what the distance is??? 

My daughter and me travelled in the local trains and the warmth was still intact in that mode of transport. People got up to give space to others, they smiled without reason and answered my basic questions courteously!  However the Metro had an air of indifference … probably the difference caused due to ‘no-doors’ vs ‘closed doors’😊.. The rickshas, taxis and pani puri walas seem to be the same, though the malls, coffee shops and huge buildings, are intruding their space somewhere.

Dadar station is still buzzing with life at 6.30 in the morning and Andheri is all lively at 12 at night.  There is still no fear in this city and the whole collective energy of people, has a shared warmth of community. This warmth takes in an unknown person even today and you can live in anonymity- being lost as one in the crowd. The city lets you be ‘you’…

The engulfing energy of ‘doing’ is seen in this city. I don’t know if they actually see what they are doing… but the ‘doing’ is very strong and the energy is contagious. In a span of 700 meters I have seen three Dahi handis happening and 4 ganesh mandals being set up. The levels of celebrations and noise is at a different level today. Money continues to be the driving force in this city. And somewhere I am wondering, if it has crossed the line of ‘creating’. The power to create and destroy – 2 sides of ‘money’ – still holds the city together.

All my cousins have moved away from the city… only elders remain. The warmth and love is still there, with a tinge of loneliness though. They are all now having an alternate house close to their kids, but the city is not letting them go 😊 …

I drive back to Pune on Sunday, witnessing the city I looked upto all my life. The journey through Jayanti Janata, to local trains to my own car drive to reach the city has seen a transformation.

 I don’t feel the ‘love’ I used to feel for it.. but acknowledge it for being an important part of my life. My daughter driving in the car with me, is making her own connection with this city. It might include love, awe, disdain, or even fear… 

In the meantime... I wonder, whose journey this has been… mine or the city’s ??....