" I am not what I am, but what You want me to be!"

We are so in tune to this feeling that anything we do is with the basic feeling of what others will think of us. In this whole ball game, 'what i want and whom I am' is lost. 
Recently I was in Kerala for a holiday and went on the famous boat ride in Periyar Tiger Reserve. 
The ride is almost for an hour where you are taken into the river and if lucky you could spot animals that come down to the river to quench their thirst. We were all ready with our cameras to spot  any animals that would be anywhere close to the water. Whoever saw any of the animals- wild boar, elephants, bison would yell out "there...............", and everyone would zoom into that direction . One 12-13 year old boy was seated next to me and had the family camera with him. A girl ahead of us yelled out -" bison" and the boy zoomed... After 5 seconds he told his other i cant see anything... the mother replies " zoom kar photo mein aayega, atleast we will be able to show photos to others that we saw bisons"!
It was not important 'you' saw the bisons , but what was important was that once you went back and showed others the photos either on FB or whatsapp that some animals were seen - 'for others'.
When we were in the US, parents or relatives used to visit and always had an itenary to be seen. Evne if the schedule was too tight, they had to see all the highlights in the country, lest they would be asked how come they didnt see that one spot! And the answer to that question disturbs one to the effect that we have missed doing/ seeing something really nice which is much better than what we actually did.
It is an universal phenomenon that is ingrained in us from childhood. School, home, office, class, everywhere. Think about it. Even when you are doing something, how often is it SOLELY for yourself? Most of the time it is to outwit others, show someone how good you are or simply because someone else did it and you want to be 'as good' if not better.
I am trying to unlearn this universal phenomenon. I am consciously trying both on myself and my family. When my 5 year old daughter compares herself/ our household with others, I dissuade her and bring to light how its cool to be different :)
I want her to start thinking on her own and not live her life for 'others' reasons. I want her to search for that one innermost feeling of what makes her happy and life for that feeling. Will that be achieved only if we live all alone? I dont know..
Until answers are found, consciously try to live everyday with a search for that reason that makes  your self elated and happy!


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